It's been a very long time, since I wrote my last post. and it's been so long I have not motivated or inspired in life like I used to do back when I thought I found someone I could make things right, when I thought this will be one hell of dream journey. when I thought I know it's painful but I had to stay for her reason. When I thought looking back is not good when I become pause and distracted. After being commissioned, I even try to check out for her. but there was no sign. even if I keep a lot of messages to a number that have not been used for several months. thinking whether this brings luck to let her know something good. after a while I now understand few bits that is important even though there are so many that were reminds me of her.
Life seem flawless after knowing you are just you from the beginning of a relationship to the ending knowing you don't know who you falling in love with. I come to know patient even closer and deeper. I found so many definitions of "care" and "don't care" or "ignorance".
mostly I now understand when she say "love is like a wind, you can feel it, but you can never see it".
Like a wind,
You come,
I feel the wind,
so calm,
the wind is nice,
like you,
the wind is cold,
when you are not around,
the wind is hot,
when you are not around,
It seem,
Empty,
That's the wind.
You can't see it.
You just feel it.
Where ever you are. I am not looking back anymore. I've been someone different the time I choose to become someone of a status. but if you hate me and that's the reason you're gone.I admitted. I know I am such troublesome. At all cost. You will not know what I actually did just to give my time for you. and my first reason to choose this career was for you. not knowing your gone the time I Raise up to be known through out the sovereign, They called me "Sir". I called myself "failure". but it's not good to condemn yourself. knowing your just making this not right. I am still me. but I am Different.
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